First Time Mom

I first got pregnant at age 19. The pregnancy was horrible. I was in and out of the hospital sometimes several times a week. I had my first daughter on Father’s day in 2004. I was 20 years old and had no idea what I was doing. I never knew love fully until I looked in my beautiful baby girls eyes. That was the moment I knew my life would change forever. I had married my daughter’s biological fathers month before she was born. The marriage lasted 7 months after he became abusive. When we left the hospital we stayed at my grandparents house for a week and at that moment I knew I needed to be closer to my family. I was currently living over 2 hours away and knew I couldn’t raise this baby without my family’s help. So we packed up and moved in with my parents for a little bit then moved into our own place. When I woke up for my 6 week post partum appointment I was sick and in pain. I went to my appointment and explained my symptoms to the doctor who immediately said it sounded like my gallbladder. He sent me to get a sonogram and then to a surgeon to remove my gallbladder. My daughter was only 6 weeks old. I ended up having to have my 1st surgery ever. I was beyond scared. My dad took me to my surgery and stayed the night in the hospital with me. My husband at the time was suppose to go to the hospital after work but instead went to a party and never showed up. What was suppose to be an over night hospital stay turned into a week stay. When the nurse got me up to walk I started bleeding everywhere. They had to draw blood several times a day and thought I would need a blood transfusion. So not only was this my first surgery but I also had a newborn at home that was staying with my mom until I was discharged. I remember crying on the 3rd day of the stay telling the doctor I wanted to go home to my baby. He suggested I called my parents to bring my baby to me at the hospital and they did. I was finally discharged and my mom stayed with me to help me take care of my daughter. My husband at the time kept going back to where he was from instead of going to work and started to get verbally and physically abusive to me. I ended up filling for a restraining order and filed for divorce. He stopped being in her life when she was 2 years old. He eventually signed over his rights and my 2nd husband adopted her. More about that later though. The first year of being a mom was crazy and not what I expected it to be. I have learned that you have to roll with the punches life throws at you and never stop believing God knows what he’s doing.